The gaming industry’s got hoes, in different area codes.
X-Blades ~ a poor and lonely man’s Devil May Cry. I’ll admit, I was sort of looking forward to this game. After the disappointment of DMC4, my expectations of action games has been quite low. This game didn’t even live upto that. The first thing you’ll notice are the extremely clunky controls. And way too much light blooming, welcome to 2005 Gaijin Entertainment. Combat feels ridiculously slow, no thanks to the unnecessarily extended sword slashing animations. Also, shame on them for ruining the heritage of Gunblades. Frame rates are very erratic, sometimes going upto 60~fps but mostly staying below 30. Worse than the voice acting is the attitude of Ayumi, what an irritatingly cocky bitch.
Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad ~ After being greeted by a wall of text for the background story, I played the game for 3 minutes before feeling like going back to the Dashboard. Not only are the controls very stiff and reminded me of playing RE2 back in the day, the camera is just as atrocious. Unlike X-Blades, the ‘budget title’ feel oozes from every crevice of this game. From the PS2 quality textures to clipping in bosses during boss fights, to disgustingly rendered skimpily dressed girls (and jello boobies!), this game’s only redeeming quality is that localising for English voice overs was also cut out of the budget. The combat didn’t feel as frustrating at first either, where slicing through zombies was actually fun for 40 seconds. However, Gears of War has really spoiled me in the way I want to see blood and gore in my games now.
All said and done, I’d rather play the big daddy of all action games, ie Devil May Cry 3 and watch some porn afterwards, instead of playing these two games. Apparently the developers didn’t think the choice for consumers would be this obvious.